Ever since Super Mario Bros. in 1993, a lot of video games have been adapted for the big screen and mostly have had the same reception as this one. That, though, is a topic to discuss on some other day. Right now, I’ll try to review “Borderlands (2024)”, directed by actor-director Eli Roth, which looks like it’ll have the same fate. Featuring an ensemble of Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Edgar Ramirez, and Academy Award winners Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis among others, you’d think you’re in for a treat but sadly, that’s not the case.
In the starting minutes only, Cate Blanchett, through her character, says “I’m too old for this shit” and that kinda had me prepared for what’s going to ensue over the next two hours. She then goes from one planet to another on a quest, finds out things are not as they seem, meets some new characters and a very irritating robot (voiced by Jack Black), and goes on a journey to find her inner self. You’d think it doesn’t sound so bad but sadly, it is.
Maybe Eli is privy to some secret of Cate’s because there’s no way you can make her act in this after “The House With a Clock In Its Walls”. There’s one exposition after another and no room for the audience to breathe. There is a lot of gun action, flying and all the other stuff you see in sci-fi movies but it doesn’t really matter because the stakes never feel high. One minute the bad guy has a whole armada and the other minute, they decide we don’t want to fight for him anymore. Just like that. It’s as if they just weren’t in the mood.
Even when the story in action and sci-fi movies isn’t solid, the technical departments like sound and cinematography make up for it but even that’s lacking here. One of the sequences involves our band going to a land where there’s a strange and smelly fluid and the whole movie is graded in its color only- piss.
In action sequences, there are songs in the background but you can’t hear a word over the gunshots because the sound mixing is so bad. It’s like everyone involved in the making was just lazing their way through their jobs and just wanted to be done with it.
Did I tell you about a very irritating robot named Claptrap? Every time he spoke, I said in my mind “Claptrap, shut your trap.” Ariana Greenblatt, who played America Ferrera’s daughter in Barbie, is also in a similar role here, only more irritating this time. With it’s costumes, exposition, acting, toilet humor and basic ass dialogue, you’d think this is a kids film but then it resorts to showing scenes in bars and characters chugging alcohol and also using foul language and so, it ends up being a film that neither kids should watch alone nor should adults because then, like my sister, they’ll end up using their phones for most of the runtime..
Borderlands, thus, is a forgettable attempt at cashing in on a game franchise that the common folk like me probably wouldn’t like and game nerds definitely wouldn’t like.
Mihir, now a practicing doctor, gracefully navigates the delicate balance between the demands of medicine and the enchantment of cinema. Amidst patient consultations and hospital rounds, he finds sanctuary and inspiration in the magical world of film. For Mihir, movies are not merely an escape but a reservoir of renewed energy, where each frame whispers tales that reignite his spirit. His dual identity as a healer and a cinephile weaves a unique tapestry, lending Review Tales a voice that is both profound and poetic.